*****************WARNING************************
THIS POST CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE THAT WILL
MOST LIKELY BLOW YOUR SKIRT UP, SOOOOOOOOO
READER BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While I have really learned some mad skills to deal with frustration and anger, none of my skills have gone very far in PREVENTING the angry feelings in the first place. So many things ignite my fuse: bad drivers; stupid people; parents who treat their kids badly; liars; selfish people. The list could go on and on. What's my particular issue tonight??? Narfbag Asshats
If you are a narfbag asshat, and you know who you are, you are the kind of person that enjoys watching people get pissed off, be unable to cope with their own pissed-offedness, and walk away thrilled that you fucked up some one's night, day, week, month, life. There are some people who are permanent narfbag asshats, and some that play the role at various times in their existence. Sometimes, I find myself wanting to fuck up someone else because they've made me sooooo angry. I guess in those moments, I become a narfbag asshat myself. I'm not happy about that, either.
Why do some people get off on the paltry measure of control they have in this manner? Oh,.. aren't you the cerebral champion, able to ruffle my dainty feathers....? Screw you. And screw the fact that you WANT to cause me pain!!! Actually, I'm censoring myself there. What I truly mean to say is FUCK YOU, and FUCK THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!!!
There is this movie called "Merlin" with Sam Neil as the title character. In it, one of the characters says this: You must never be rude; being rude is being weak. I want a fucking t-shirt that says that!!! I mean, it sums it all up for me!! Being rude IS being weak. If you can't be polite, then keep your mouth shut. Why must you bother with ME at all??? If I suck as much as you say I do, why bother with me at all? Why do I even register on your radar? Why do you need to comment on me or my life? Who pressed your buzzer?
If you think I suck, stay the fuck away from me. It's what I do... if I don't like you, I stay the hell away from you. Why? BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU. Why would I inflict upon myself the misery of company with a narfbag asshat??? I judge myself harshly enough without your snippets of wisdom. You could never be the critic I have to face every time I look in the mirror so shut your pie hole and keep your crappy comments to yourself.
Anger... anger... anger... it's my biggest failure right now. No, I don't flip right out and punch walls. Not anymore anyway. And, no soda machines either for those of you that actually know me!!! I just see so much senselessness around me. There are so fucking many people that ENJOY causing other people pain. What the FUCK is up with that??? Who LIKES to cause people to suffer emotionally? I watch these fucking narfbag asshats get off wounding other people emotionally and spiritually and I just want to cave in their skulls and pour in Skittles, a rainbow of color. AT least then, as a candy dish, their useless skulls will provide more joy to the world offering tasty candy than the eternal bullshit they shove down people's throats.
Someone recently told me that some people feel better about their own lives, by making others feel pain. Like, they have power because they can exact it over others. You gotta know it's you, man!!! You just HAVE to know that YOU are that person,.. YOU are the THEY. How could you NOT know that you're purposely causing people pain to make yourself feel better about your own pathetic life. I know when I'm doing something shitty... How is it that YOU don't? You KNOW you're doing it, you KNOW it's YOU. Stop being a narfbag asshat and hurting people just to feel better about yourself. Stop being so small minded, selfish and stupid. Don't be a narfbag asshat.
*climbing down off the soapbox*
I'm hungry, think I'll go get some Lucky Charms.
funny aside: the spell checker doesn't recognize Narfbag Asshat!!!!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
What Is Love
There are more than a million songs that tell us how to define love. And the books and romance movies. So many thoughts and ideas about what love is, and how it ought to look. We gobble it up... the Disney ideals. Perfect guy, perfect girl, kismet and destiny colliding in a beautiful kaleidoscope of passion and love. Whatever.
What the hell is love, anyway? Sometimes, I wonder if we all aren't searching for what doesn't exist. We compare what we have to our ideals and it often doesn't measure up. Or, we expect what we have to change, so that they become more like our ideals. We often don't measure up to our own personal ideals. Some try to grow and strive toward their ideal self. Some stop having an ideal self. Some make their partner responsible for all that they are not. Is any of that love?
The experiences in my life have led me to these ideas about love:
1. Love makes you more than you were before. Love doesn't rob you of your personal identity. Love doesn't ask you to give up any part of who you are. Love doesn't take away from who you are. Love adds another dimension to who you are. Love increases your positive action on our world. Love raises you up and empowers you. Love does not "complete" you; you are complete in yourself and need no other addition.
2. Love makes you reach beyond your needs and wants to ensure that your mate has all they need and want. Love doesn't have to confess their every need and want all the time. Love isn't preoccupied with ensuring its own satisfaction; instead strives to ensure the satisfaction of their partner. Love puts their partner first. Love, in its completion does strive to achieve their own satisfaction, but not at the expense of their partner. Love does not seek their own gratification first, but yields to the needs of their partner.
3. Love does not recognize the sacrifice, or wallow in the effort. Love does not expect favor for their sacrifices or gestures. Love does not expect recognition for their effort. Love makes sacrifices and puts forth effort with a glad heart and not to gain favor or special consideration. Love gives freely and happily.
4. Love makes you want to be more tomorrow than you were yesterday. Love strives to grow and learn. Love remembers that people change, and therefore, strives to learn their partner anew each day. Love evolves, and changes. Love heals the wounds of the past, lives fully in the present, and plans for the future. Love always takes the time to assess new events and situations. Love is patient. Love strives for balance and peace.
5. Love feels good, and makes you want others around you to feel good also. Love does not hurt or speak cruelly. Love does not lash out and wound with words. Love does not strike physically or seek to harm. When love is hurting, love does not seek to hurt others. When love is joyful, love seeks to share their joy with others. Love allows the negative to dissipate within themselves, while letting the positive to burst forth and multiply to others. Love seeks to share the positive, and eradicate the negative.
There are so many other ideas I have about love, and what it means to me -- what it ought to look like. But, I can sum it up with this phrase:
Love with open arms, open mind and an open heart.
What the hell is love, anyway? Sometimes, I wonder if we all aren't searching for what doesn't exist. We compare what we have to our ideals and it often doesn't measure up. Or, we expect what we have to change, so that they become more like our ideals. We often don't measure up to our own personal ideals. Some try to grow and strive toward their ideal self. Some stop having an ideal self. Some make their partner responsible for all that they are not. Is any of that love?
The experiences in my life have led me to these ideas about love:
1. Love makes you more than you were before. Love doesn't rob you of your personal identity. Love doesn't ask you to give up any part of who you are. Love doesn't take away from who you are. Love adds another dimension to who you are. Love increases your positive action on our world. Love raises you up and empowers you. Love does not "complete" you; you are complete in yourself and need no other addition.
2. Love makes you reach beyond your needs and wants to ensure that your mate has all they need and want. Love doesn't have to confess their every need and want all the time. Love isn't preoccupied with ensuring its own satisfaction; instead strives to ensure the satisfaction of their partner. Love puts their partner first. Love, in its completion does strive to achieve their own satisfaction, but not at the expense of their partner. Love does not seek their own gratification first, but yields to the needs of their partner.
3. Love does not recognize the sacrifice, or wallow in the effort. Love does not expect favor for their sacrifices or gestures. Love does not expect recognition for their effort. Love makes sacrifices and puts forth effort with a glad heart and not to gain favor or special consideration. Love gives freely and happily.
4. Love makes you want to be more tomorrow than you were yesterday. Love strives to grow and learn. Love remembers that people change, and therefore, strives to learn their partner anew each day. Love evolves, and changes. Love heals the wounds of the past, lives fully in the present, and plans for the future. Love always takes the time to assess new events and situations. Love is patient. Love strives for balance and peace.
5. Love feels good, and makes you want others around you to feel good also. Love does not hurt or speak cruelly. Love does not lash out and wound with words. Love does not strike physically or seek to harm. When love is hurting, love does not seek to hurt others. When love is joyful, love seeks to share their joy with others. Love allows the negative to dissipate within themselves, while letting the positive to burst forth and multiply to others. Love seeks to share the positive, and eradicate the negative.
There are so many other ideas I have about love, and what it means to me -- what it ought to look like. But, I can sum it up with this phrase:
Love with open arms, open mind and an open heart.
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Balance
And so,
whose reality is real?
What would we do
tomorrow
if we are released
from yesterday?
Would yesterday's sorrows
creep upon us
like shadows growing
in the evening sun?
Would our shadows become
twilight?
The darkness of our lives
it already is
darkness.
Darkness so murky
not as black as nothing.
Nothing is so final as
the end.
Nothing as dark as
dying.
Unfinished work,
dreams not realized;
stopping without having
started.
Failing, without having tried.
Will the darkness be so dark?
Seeking without finding,
not knowing what we seek.
And yet,
tomorrow is our hope.
Our questions
become
the answers
when we know
what we are asking.
Understanding,
like straining for the rope
we cannot reach
stretching,
sweating,
pulse grinding,
reaching every muscle
up, up UP.
And finally we grasp the end
and it lifts us up
swooping suddenly
the rush of wind all around
and we fly.
Complete in the now
the tao
of today.
Moving forward,
circumspect and aware,
gliding through the
crystal waters watching
the ripples multiply
as we move.
In the crisp morning dew
at dawn we see,
but where to go?
Never mind,
just moving along the path;
which path to take?
Our way, your way
my way.
Sanity
like a toddler,
must be watched always;
gently guided,
reminded
of the way.
The right way.
Laughter.
Yes, laugh.
All is well when
the toddler smiles.
Tears,
salt in the tears
must flow
gently now,
everything will be alright.
Yes,
just like a child;
precious and dear
to hold.
The child holds us in the
now,
keeps us sane.
Peace,
at last the comfort
of completion.
Fulfillment;
emptiness replaced
with the accomplishment
of survival.
Peace now,
and rest,
tired eyes,
tired soul;
time for rest.
A dream;
a whisper of
tomorrow.
A song
gently touching
our soul.
A quiet ride
in a canoe
down a softly
flowing river;
rocking to
and fro.
August 2002
whose reality is real?
What would we do
tomorrow
if we are released
from yesterday?
Would yesterday's sorrows
creep upon us
like shadows growing
in the evening sun?
Would our shadows become
twilight?
The darkness of our lives
it already is
darkness.
Darkness so murky
not as black as nothing.
Nothing is so final as
the end.
Nothing as dark as
dying.
Unfinished work,
dreams not realized;
stopping without having
started.
Failing, without having tried.
Will the darkness be so dark?
Seeking without finding,
not knowing what we seek.
And yet,
tomorrow is our hope.
Our questions
become
the answers
when we know
what we are asking.
Understanding,
like straining for the rope
we cannot reach
stretching,
sweating,
pulse grinding,
reaching every muscle
up, up UP.
And finally we grasp the end
and it lifts us up
swooping suddenly
the rush of wind all around
and we fly.
Complete in the now
the tao
of today.
Moving forward,
circumspect and aware,
gliding through the
crystal waters watching
the ripples multiply
as we move.
In the crisp morning dew
at dawn we see,
but where to go?
Never mind,
just moving along the path;
which path to take?
Our way, your way
my way.
Sanity
like a toddler,
must be watched always;
gently guided,
reminded
of the way.
The right way.
Laughter.
Yes, laugh.
All is well when
the toddler smiles.
Tears,
salt in the tears
must flow
gently now,
everything will be alright.
Yes,
just like a child;
precious and dear
to hold.
The child holds us in the
now,
keeps us sane.
Peace,
at last the comfort
of completion.
Fulfillment;
emptiness replaced
with the accomplishment
of survival.
Peace now,
and rest,
tired eyes,
tired soul;
time for rest.
A dream;
a whisper of
tomorrow.
A song
gently touching
our soul.
A quiet ride
in a canoe
down a softly
flowing river;
rocking to
and fro.
August 2002
Empty Headed People
Empty headed people
Here empty headed people come
There empty headed people are
Walking around
Talking
And talking
And talking
talking
Don't know me
Know better than I
Know everything
Tell me everything
Think big thoughts
Share big thoughts
Share big thoughts
Right
Down
My
Thoughts
Full of a lot of wind
Air
Nothing but air
In those empty heads
Tell me left
Tell me right
Tell me up
Tell me when
And where
And why
And what
And who
Who cares
I cares
I cares about the wind
And the air
Those empty heads just knocking all around
Billowing with the times and seasons
I don't bother the times
Or the seasons
I don't test the air
But they're there
Judging me
Testing me
Pointing long bony fingers
Dead digits with painted nails
Filling up my head with
Yes and no
Mostly no
Never
Never mind
Nothing but air
Wind that just keeps blowing
Blowing over me
Over my mind
Through me
Right through my soul
Tearing at my heart
Showing me pain
Guilt
Anger
Shame
Bad things
Inside
Sometimes wishing
On an empty head
With clean air
I wouldn't mind that
Air moving all around
Moving
Like big healthy lungs
Taking in all the world
Just taking it all in
And breathing it all out
Seeing
Seeing what I see out there
And not what's already inside
Empty heads
Trying so hard to live
Inside my head
It's so full
There's no room
But there they are
Stuffing inside my head
What ought to be outside
Taking up space
Stop
Living
In
My
Head
18 March 2002
Here empty headed people come
There empty headed people are
Walking around
Talking
And talking
And talking
talking
Don't know me
Know better than I
Know everything
Tell me everything
Think big thoughts
Share big thoughts
Share big thoughts
Right
Down
My
Thoughts
Full of a lot of wind
Air
Nothing but air
In those empty heads
Tell me left
Tell me right
Tell me up
Tell me when
And where
And why
And what
And who
Who cares
I cares
I cares about the wind
And the air
Those empty heads just knocking all around
Billowing with the times and seasons
I don't bother the times
Or the seasons
I don't test the air
But they're there
Judging me
Testing me
Pointing long bony fingers
Dead digits with painted nails
Filling up my head with
Yes and no
Mostly no
Never
Never mind
Nothing but air
Wind that just keeps blowing
Blowing over me
Over my mind
Through me
Right through my soul
Tearing at my heart
Showing me pain
Guilt
Anger
Shame
Bad things
Inside
Sometimes wishing
On an empty head
With clean air
I wouldn't mind that
Air moving all around
Moving
Like big healthy lungs
Taking in all the world
Just taking it all in
And breathing it all out
Seeing
Seeing what I see out there
And not what's already inside
Empty heads
Trying so hard to live
Inside my head
It's so full
There's no room
But there they are
Stuffing inside my head
What ought to be outside
Taking up space
Stop
Living
In
My
Head
18 March 2002
An Uninvited Guest
an uninvited guest
a pest
not welcomed not embraced
no place
not among the peers
they fear
the simple one is different
different is bad
the pain of tomorrow
full of sorrow
overwhelming anger
there is strength in solitude
stronger for the fight
stronger for freedom
to live or die
to fight or run away
alone
can leave or stay
the night must come
bringing the cold
the darkness
crashing and falling inside
uninvited and unwelcome
pounding and pounding
which one will win
pain or anger
wrath or sorrow
strong yet weak
weak yet defiant
nothing ever wins
the battle never ends
just pounding
crashing
falling
dying
living dead
31 December 1999
a pest
not welcomed not embraced
no place
not among the peers
they fear
the simple one is different
different is bad
the pain of tomorrow
full of sorrow
overwhelming anger
there is strength in solitude
stronger for the fight
stronger for freedom
to live or die
to fight or run away
alone
can leave or stay
the night must come
bringing the cold
the darkness
crashing and falling inside
uninvited and unwelcome
pounding and pounding
which one will win
pain or anger
wrath or sorrow
strong yet weak
weak yet defiant
nothing ever wins
the battle never ends
just pounding
crashing
falling
dying
living dead
31 December 1999
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Jesus Christ... and all His kin...
When I was a kid, I remember exactly what would have happened had I said "Jesus Christ" in front of any of my Catholic and/or uber-Christian relatives. I would have been flogged, stoned and summarily put to death. Seriously, I would have gotten the shit kicked out of me, and that would have been their departure point. Suffice it to say, I learned at an early age that there were things that one ought not to say out loud or in mixed company.
As the years have passed the English language has undergone a metamorphosis. Of course, language is alive and ever changing. Language is practically sentient and it definitely evolves. I get that. I'm with it. I remember when the common response to hearing something unbelievable was "as if." As if that were sufficient to express one's disbelief. Well, it was. We like our language to be concise, direct, and without confusion. Sort of.
When I consider the sorts of things we weren't allowed to say as children, I really believe that it was more about respecting your elders, and each other. It was about common courtesy and being kind and compassionate. We all were not those things, and none of us were those things all the time. And so, there were rules to govern our discipline when we stepped a toe out of line. The things we could not say weren't just offensive. My aunts actually believed that saying, "Jesus Christ" was blasphemy and would earn my skinny ass a one-way ticket to hell for all eternity. They weren't so fragile as to be unable to tolerate my words; they were concerned for my mortal soul. We laugh at that now. But back then, you were headed straight to hell if you had sex before marriage. Now, not so much. Did God change? Or did we change our perspective on incredibly subjective dogmatic ideals?
My time spent in the service was marked by the Tailhook incident. For the nubes in the room,.. Tailhook was the sexual harassment suit of the millennium. Basically, a woman (sailor) went to what she believed was a party to which she'd been invited. The party was not meant for any woman to attend; unless that woman hoped to be groped, fondled, stripped, and engage in debauched behavior with multiple horny pilots. Yes, there were 'hired' helpers. But, the woman wasn't really welcome and the invite was nothing more than a prank, intended to trap her in a compromised situation. She was groped, manhandled and practically raped (thought I'm not entirely sure that she was not). She reported the incident to her superior officer, which was the correct protocol to follow. Her commanding officer did nothing, except to tell her she ought not to have attended the party. Her story went to press, she sued their asses off, and the entire United States military got to stand down and attend a sexual harassment seminar. Sound like fun? It was not. In a coincidental twist, right before the stand down training, I was assaulted by my entire company. Want to know why? Because I was promoted. Hazing is real. But that's a different story for another time. What my point in adding this bit to this blog entry is this: we were not allowed to speak of many, many different things that might offend someone. While I don't condone hazing, assault, or any other unwanted physical attention; holy crap! Are we, in the effort to prevent bad behavior, going to prevent all behavior??? Seems like we threw out the baby with the bath water.
Fast forward to today. Not 'today' but I mean current time. My kids were in an assembly not too long ago, where they were asked to sign a contract promising to not say or use the word 'retarded.' Now, first, I think this is bullshit. You can't stick my kid in an assembly, interrupting the education curriculum, to talk about using a singular word. For real??? I think they'll learn a lot more by actually staying in class than wasting what little time they have in front of the teacher, hearing about how shameful and naughty it is to use the word 'retarded.' I think the assembly was retarded!!! For the record; I have never, never used the word in conjunction with a person who was physically or mentally handicapped. In fact, I never use any diagnostic words when I'm referring to a person who is challenged in any way. I refer to them by name, or based on their relation to another person (as in, Ted's kid, etc). But if something is stupid, or undeveloped, or delayed, I say it's retarded because that is what the word means.
Here, this is my proof:
re·tard
/rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]–verb (used with object)
1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object)
2. to be delayed.
–noun
3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging .
a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5. Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.
— adj
ESN mental handicap See also subnormal underdeveloped, esp mentally and esp having an IQ of 70 to 85
And there was another slang definition which was a modified definition (happens when words take on new meanings and uses) which was "bad or defective as in "this old DVD player is retarded. Time for a new one."
Citation http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retarded
So you see, my kid's school illegally pressured these kids, under duress (because they were asked to sign the paper collectively in front of the entire assembly) to illegally sign a document (no one under the age of 18 can legally enter into any contractual obligation with anyone else) that couldn't possibly serve any useful purpose except to persecute those who openly refused to sign (like my daughter). All for what??? To promise not to offend mentally or physically challenged people? Or are we so fragile, we don't like to be reminded of other's handicaps? Or are we so struggling with the Darwin theory that we hope everyone is gifted with all the same gifts and strengths and no one has any weaknesses? Or have we gotten so gluttonously lazy that we want everyone to have equal outcome without expending equal effort? All of this sounds like a pile of bullshit! One word. Focus all your attention on one word, and you're going to miss the meaning of the sentence. You're going to miss the heart of the book. Focus on one word, and what's the point of talking at all?
While we're on the topic of singular words that blow every one's skirts up... Let's talk about 'gay.' Now, I remember when people were just starting to use the word to mean 'homosexual.' I had no idea what they meant at first. But, as I grew, and learned about homosexuality and exactly what it was that two women did together, and what two men did together; I came to understand what 'gay' meant, from that perspective. Later in life, 'gay' took on a new meaning. But so did other words. For instance, when my then 16 year old sister came home with a bunch of new clothes (in 1985), she said that she "just bought a bunch of killer new clothes." Now, she did not mean that she bought clothes a 'killer' would wear; or that she planned on 'killing' anyone wearing the clothes. Of course she only meant that they were stylish and hip. DUH. But no one latched onto that little gem. Not sure why,.. I mean, the families of murder victims could certainly complain that such use of the term was inconsiderate and disrespectful to their loss. But so far, that hasn't happened.
And when I arrived in New England, I was treated to a new term: wicked. I will recant the tale of my then 13 year old relative as she told me about a dance she went to... "it was sooooo wicked!!" Now, I was certain that she meant the dance was thoroughly enjoyable, and perhaps even gleaned that she'd had a great time. Not once did I consider that the students at the dance might have been participating in black magic rituals, or satanic rites. Not even for a second did I consider that the evil host of hell had risen to attend a high school dance. I think many parents would have had their knickers in a twist if it had been "evil, or morally bad in principle or practice."
So, I return again to the word 'gay.' What is the fucking deal? Why am I accosted with stupid commercials about "watch what you say" and "do you think before you speak?" Yes, I do think before I speak. And, as a veteran of the United States, free citizen of this amazing country, I have the freedom to say whatever the flying freaking monkeys I want to say. I volunteered to fight for my country and defend all our rights. I threw live hand grenades for crying out loud. I sneezed snot and phlegm from my nose, and mouth, with tears streaming from my eyes in the gas chamber. Damn it, don't I get to say whatever I want to say? Especially when all I'm really saying is that something, or someone is acting in an unintelligent manner? And what of the gay community? Are they really offended by this practice? I mean, to be gay does not mean one is inherently stupid or unnecessary. Being gay just means you're either happy, gleeful, or you like to have sex with people who have the same sex organs as you do. But, when I say, "Oh my God. That is gay!" I am not saying that the gay community has any relevance to what I am dealing with. Not related. Not linked. No offense was meant. None should have been taken. Of my gay friends, and there are MANY,.. they are all tough, intelligent, sarcastic, really well-spoken and outspoken people. They don't linger about, lamenting the misuse of the term. Neither should anyone else. And the fact that tax dollars were spent to make dumb-ass commercials vilifying the use of a stupid singular word is appalling.
My very favorite word is 'fuck.' Why? Because, it is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, everything. It is a complete sentence, all by itself. And it is a multi-tasker. People get offended by the f-bomb. Can't really say why either. Like Whoppi Goldberg says, "fuck isn't nearly as offensive as some words: stupid, worthless, dumb." I agree with her. I don't agree with her politics, but I don't have to. The basic sentiment is this: words shouldn't offend you. Actions should. Just because I say 'fuck' shouldn't offend you, though if you choose to get offended, that is your right. However, your rights end where they abut everyone else's rights.
That is really the crux of it: YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE THEY ABUT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS!!!! With all the money spent on therapy and counselling services, and all the effort applied to self-help crap; how can we all be so fucking (yes, I dropped it) pretentious and uptight about WORDS!!!!! I get it,.. words hurt. People can cut you straight through your soul with the words they say, and they might even do it on purpose. Jesus H. Christ Almighty!!! Are you kidding me??? "That which does not destroy me, only makes me stronger!!!" Start out by surviving WORDS!!!
If you are broken down by some asshat who assaults you with words; reach out to others. Get support. Sure, there are people who use words like weapons, they strike you down, and know that you have nothing. There are also people who have been there, done that, and are ready to support you. Reach out and get supported, get help, and get the hell away from people who use their words to hurt you. But, for crying out loud (or bitching in a blog), don't try to limit freedom of speech! Don't tell me what I can or cant' say because some other person used words to wound. And if I wound you, use YOUR words to express that fact and let me use MY words to make amends. We shouldn't be stopping speech, or limiting it; we need to speak more clearly and stop all this exaggeration and lying.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH,.. I say "use it or lose it" my friends. Any sort of censure is just retarded and gay.
And, for those of you who might be interested in the history of the word 'fuck,' here you go!!!
fuck
–verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.
2. Slang . to treat unfairly or harshly.
–verb (used without object)
3. to have sexual intercourse.
4. Slang . to meddle (usually fol. by around or with ).
–interjection
5. Slang . (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc., often fol. by a pronoun, as you or it. )
–noun
6. an act of sexual intercourse.
7. a partner in sexual intercourse.
8. Slang . a person, esp. one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the fuck, Slang . (used as an intensifier, esp. with WH-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.) —Verb phrases
10. fuck around, Slang .
a. to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
b. to engage in promiscuous sex.
11. fuck off, Slang .
a. to shirk one's duty; malinger.
b. go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
c. to waste time.
12. fuck up, Slang .
a. to bungle or botch; ruin.
b. to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up. —Idiom
13. give a fuck, Slang . to care; be concerned.
Origin: 1495–1505; akin to MD fokken to thrust, copulate with, Sw dial. focka to copulate with, strike, push, fock penis —Related forms
fucky, adjective
Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.
World English Dictionary
fuck (fʌk)
— vb
1. to have sexual intercourse with (someone)
— n
2. an act of sexual intercourse
3. a partner in sexual intercourse, esp one of specified competence or experience
4. not care a fuck , not give a fuck not to care at all
— interj
5. offensive an expression of strong disgust or anger (often in exclamatory phrases such as fuck you! fuck it! etc)
usage
The use and overuse of fuck in the everyday speech of many people has led, to some extent, to a lessening of its impact as an expletive. However, the word still retains its shock value, although it is less now than it was when the critic Kenneth Tynan caused controversy by saying it on British television in 1965
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009
Word Origin & History fuck
a difficult word to trace, in part because it was taboo to the editors of the original OED when the "F" volume was compiled, 1893-97. Written form only attested from early 16c. OED 2nd edition cites 1503, in the form fukkit ; earliest appearance of current spelling is 1535 -- "Bischops ... may fuck thair fill and be vnmaryit" [Sir David Lyndesay, "Ane Satyre of the Thrie Estaits" ], but presumably it is a much more ancient word than that, simply one that wasn't likely to be written in the kind of texts that have survived from O.E. and M.E. Buck cites proper name John le Fucker from 1278. The word apparently is hinted at in a scurrilous 15c. poem, titled "Flen flyys," written in bastard L. and M.E. The relevant line reads:
Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uuiuys of heli "They [the monks] are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of Ely." Fuccant is pseudo-Latin, and in the original it is written in cipher. The earliest examples of the word otherwise are from Scottish, which suggests a Scandinavian origin, perhaps from a word akin to Norw. dial. fukka "copulate," or Swedish dial. focka "copulate, strike, push," and fock "penis." Another theory traces it to M.E. fkye, fike "move restlessly, fidget," which also meant "dally, flirt," and probably is from a general North Sea Gmc. word, cf. M.Du. fokken, Ger. ficken "fuck," earlier "make quick movements to and fro, flick," still earlier "itch, scratch;" the vulgar sense attested from 16c. This would parallel in sense the usual M.E. slang term for "have sexual intercourse," swive , from O.E. swifan "to move lightly over, sweep" (see swivel). Chronology and phonology rule out Shipley's attempt to derive it from M.E. firk "to press hard, beat." As a noun, it dates from 1680. French foutre and Italian fottere look like the English word but are unrelated, derived rather from L. futuere , which is perhaps from PIE base *bhau(t)- "knock, strike off," extended via a figurative use "from the sexual application of violent action" [Shipley; cf. the sexual slang use of bang , etc.]. Popular and Internet derivations from acronyms (and the "pluck yew" fable) are merely ingenious trifling. The O.E. word was hæman , from ham "dwelling, home," with a sense of "take home, co-habit." Fuck was outlawed in print in England (by the Obscene Publications Act, 1857) and the U.S. (by the Comstock Act, 1873). The word may have been shunned in print, but it continued in conversation, especially among soldiers during WWI.
"It became so common that an effective way for the soldier to express this emotion was to omit this word. Thus if a sergeant said, 'Get your ----ing rifles!' it was understood as a matter of routine. But if he said 'Get your rifles!' there was an immediate implication of urgency and danger." [John Brophy, "Songs and Slang of the British Soldier: 1914-1918," pub. 1930] The legal barriers broke down in the 20th century, with the "Ulysses" decision (U.S., 1933) and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (U.S., 1959; U.K., 1960). Johnson excluded the word, and fuck wasn't in a single English language dictionary from 1795 to 1965. "The Penguin Dictionary" broke the taboo in the latter year. Houghton Mifflin followed, in 1969, with "The American Heritage Dictionary," but it also published a "Clean Green" edition without the word, to assure itself access to the lucrative public high school market. The abbreviation F (or eff ) probably began as euphemistic, but by 1943 it was being used as a cuss word, too. In 1948, the publishers of "The Naked and the Dead" persuaded Norman Mailer to use the euphemism fug instead. When Mailer later was introduced to Dorothy Parker, she greeted him with, "So you're the man who can't spell 'fuck' " [The quip sometimes is attributed to Tallulah Bankhead]. Hemingway used muck in "For whom the Bell Tolls" (1940). The major breakthrough in publication was James Jones' "From Here to Eternity" (1950), with 50 fucks (down from 258 in the original manuscript). Egyptian legal agreements from the 23rd Dynasty (749-21 B.C.E.) frequently include the phrase, "If you do not obey this decree, may a donkey copulate with you!" [Reinhold Aman, "Maledicta," Summer 1977]. Fuck-all "nothing" first recorded 1960. Verbal phrase fuck up "to ruin, spoil, destroy" first attested c.1916. A widespread group of Slavic words (cf. Pol. pierdolić ) can mean both "fornicate" and "make a mistake." Fuck off attested from 1929; as a command to depart, by 1944. Flying fuck originally meant "have sex on horseback" and is first attested c.1800 in broadside ballad "New Feats of Horsemanship." For the unkillable urban legend that this word is an acronym of some sort (a fiction traceable on the Internet to 1995 but probably predating that) see here, and also here. Related: Fucked ; fucking . Agent noun fucker attested from 1590s in literal sense; by 1893 as a term of abuse (or admiration).
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Citation: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fuck
As the years have passed the English language has undergone a metamorphosis. Of course, language is alive and ever changing. Language is practically sentient and it definitely evolves. I get that. I'm with it. I remember when the common response to hearing something unbelievable was "as if." As if that were sufficient to express one's disbelief. Well, it was. We like our language to be concise, direct, and without confusion. Sort of.
When I consider the sorts of things we weren't allowed to say as children, I really believe that it was more about respecting your elders, and each other. It was about common courtesy and being kind and compassionate. We all were not those things, and none of us were those things all the time. And so, there were rules to govern our discipline when we stepped a toe out of line. The things we could not say weren't just offensive. My aunts actually believed that saying, "Jesus Christ" was blasphemy and would earn my skinny ass a one-way ticket to hell for all eternity. They weren't so fragile as to be unable to tolerate my words; they were concerned for my mortal soul. We laugh at that now. But back then, you were headed straight to hell if you had sex before marriage. Now, not so much. Did God change? Or did we change our perspective on incredibly subjective dogmatic ideals?
My time spent in the service was marked by the Tailhook incident. For the nubes in the room,.. Tailhook was the sexual harassment suit of the millennium. Basically, a woman (sailor) went to what she believed was a party to which she'd been invited. The party was not meant for any woman to attend; unless that woman hoped to be groped, fondled, stripped, and engage in debauched behavior with multiple horny pilots. Yes, there were 'hired' helpers. But, the woman wasn't really welcome and the invite was nothing more than a prank, intended to trap her in a compromised situation. She was groped, manhandled and practically raped (thought I'm not entirely sure that she was not). She reported the incident to her superior officer, which was the correct protocol to follow. Her commanding officer did nothing, except to tell her she ought not to have attended the party. Her story went to press, she sued their asses off, and the entire United States military got to stand down and attend a sexual harassment seminar. Sound like fun? It was not. In a coincidental twist, right before the stand down training, I was assaulted by my entire company. Want to know why? Because I was promoted. Hazing is real. But that's a different story for another time. What my point in adding this bit to this blog entry is this: we were not allowed to speak of many, many different things that might offend someone. While I don't condone hazing, assault, or any other unwanted physical attention; holy crap! Are we, in the effort to prevent bad behavior, going to prevent all behavior??? Seems like we threw out the baby with the bath water.
Fast forward to today. Not 'today' but I mean current time. My kids were in an assembly not too long ago, where they were asked to sign a contract promising to not say or use the word 'retarded.' Now, first, I think this is bullshit. You can't stick my kid in an assembly, interrupting the education curriculum, to talk about using a singular word. For real??? I think they'll learn a lot more by actually staying in class than wasting what little time they have in front of the teacher, hearing about how shameful and naughty it is to use the word 'retarded.' I think the assembly was retarded!!! For the record; I have never, never used the word in conjunction with a person who was physically or mentally handicapped. In fact, I never use any diagnostic words when I'm referring to a person who is challenged in any way. I refer to them by name, or based on their relation to another person (as in, Ted's kid, etc). But if something is stupid, or undeveloped, or delayed, I say it's retarded because that is what the word means.
Here, this is my proof:
re·tard
/rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]–verb (used with object)
1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object)
2. to be delayed.
–noun
3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging .
a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5. Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.
— adj
ESN mental handicap See also subnormal underdeveloped, esp mentally and esp having an IQ of 70 to 85
And there was another slang definition which was a modified definition (happens when words take on new meanings and uses) which was "bad or defective as in "this old DVD player is retarded. Time for a new one."
Citation http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retarded
So you see, my kid's school illegally pressured these kids, under duress (because they were asked to sign the paper collectively in front of the entire assembly) to illegally sign a document (no one under the age of 18 can legally enter into any contractual obligation with anyone else) that couldn't possibly serve any useful purpose except to persecute those who openly refused to sign (like my daughter). All for what??? To promise not to offend mentally or physically challenged people? Or are we so fragile, we don't like to be reminded of other's handicaps? Or are we so struggling with the Darwin theory that we hope everyone is gifted with all the same gifts and strengths and no one has any weaknesses? Or have we gotten so gluttonously lazy that we want everyone to have equal outcome without expending equal effort? All of this sounds like a pile of bullshit! One word. Focus all your attention on one word, and you're going to miss the meaning of the sentence. You're going to miss the heart of the book. Focus on one word, and what's the point of talking at all?
While we're on the topic of singular words that blow every one's skirts up... Let's talk about 'gay.' Now, I remember when people were just starting to use the word to mean 'homosexual.' I had no idea what they meant at first. But, as I grew, and learned about homosexuality and exactly what it was that two women did together, and what two men did together; I came to understand what 'gay' meant, from that perspective. Later in life, 'gay' took on a new meaning. But so did other words. For instance, when my then 16 year old sister came home with a bunch of new clothes (in 1985), she said that she "just bought a bunch of killer new clothes." Now, she did not mean that she bought clothes a 'killer' would wear; or that she planned on 'killing' anyone wearing the clothes. Of course she only meant that they were stylish and hip. DUH. But no one latched onto that little gem. Not sure why,.. I mean, the families of murder victims could certainly complain that such use of the term was inconsiderate and disrespectful to their loss. But so far, that hasn't happened.
And when I arrived in New England, I was treated to a new term: wicked. I will recant the tale of my then 13 year old relative as she told me about a dance she went to... "it was sooooo wicked!!" Now, I was certain that she meant the dance was thoroughly enjoyable, and perhaps even gleaned that she'd had a great time. Not once did I consider that the students at the dance might have been participating in black magic rituals, or satanic rites. Not even for a second did I consider that the evil host of hell had risen to attend a high school dance. I think many parents would have had their knickers in a twist if it had been "evil, or morally bad in principle or practice."
So, I return again to the word 'gay.' What is the fucking deal? Why am I accosted with stupid commercials about "watch what you say" and "do you think before you speak?" Yes, I do think before I speak. And, as a veteran of the United States, free citizen of this amazing country, I have the freedom to say whatever the flying freaking monkeys I want to say. I volunteered to fight for my country and defend all our rights. I threw live hand grenades for crying out loud. I sneezed snot and phlegm from my nose, and mouth, with tears streaming from my eyes in the gas chamber. Damn it, don't I get to say whatever I want to say? Especially when all I'm really saying is that something, or someone is acting in an unintelligent manner? And what of the gay community? Are they really offended by this practice? I mean, to be gay does not mean one is inherently stupid or unnecessary. Being gay just means you're either happy, gleeful, or you like to have sex with people who have the same sex organs as you do. But, when I say, "Oh my God. That is gay!" I am not saying that the gay community has any relevance to what I am dealing with. Not related. Not linked. No offense was meant. None should have been taken. Of my gay friends, and there are MANY,.. they are all tough, intelligent, sarcastic, really well-spoken and outspoken people. They don't linger about, lamenting the misuse of the term. Neither should anyone else. And the fact that tax dollars were spent to make dumb-ass commercials vilifying the use of a stupid singular word is appalling.
My very favorite word is 'fuck.' Why? Because, it is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, everything. It is a complete sentence, all by itself. And it is a multi-tasker. People get offended by the f-bomb. Can't really say why either. Like Whoppi Goldberg says, "fuck isn't nearly as offensive as some words: stupid, worthless, dumb." I agree with her. I don't agree with her politics, but I don't have to. The basic sentiment is this: words shouldn't offend you. Actions should. Just because I say 'fuck' shouldn't offend you, though if you choose to get offended, that is your right. However, your rights end where they abut everyone else's rights.
That is really the crux of it: YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE THEY ABUT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS!!!! With all the money spent on therapy and counselling services, and all the effort applied to self-help crap; how can we all be so fucking (yes, I dropped it) pretentious and uptight about WORDS!!!!! I get it,.. words hurt. People can cut you straight through your soul with the words they say, and they might even do it on purpose. Jesus H. Christ Almighty!!! Are you kidding me??? "That which does not destroy me, only makes me stronger!!!" Start out by surviving WORDS!!!
If you are broken down by some asshat who assaults you with words; reach out to others. Get support. Sure, there are people who use words like weapons, they strike you down, and know that you have nothing. There are also people who have been there, done that, and are ready to support you. Reach out and get supported, get help, and get the hell away from people who use their words to hurt you. But, for crying out loud (or bitching in a blog), don't try to limit freedom of speech! Don't tell me what I can or cant' say because some other person used words to wound. And if I wound you, use YOUR words to express that fact and let me use MY words to make amends. We shouldn't be stopping speech, or limiting it; we need to speak more clearly and stop all this exaggeration and lying.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH,.. I say "use it or lose it" my friends. Any sort of censure is just retarded and gay.
And, for those of you who might be interested in the history of the word 'fuck,' here you go!!!
fuck
–verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.
2. Slang . to treat unfairly or harshly.
–verb (used without object)
3. to have sexual intercourse.
4. Slang . to meddle (usually fol. by around or with ).
–interjection
5. Slang . (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc., often fol. by a pronoun, as you or it. )
–noun
6. an act of sexual intercourse.
7. a partner in sexual intercourse.
8. Slang . a person, esp. one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the fuck, Slang . (used as an intensifier, esp. with WH-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.) —Verb phrases
10. fuck around, Slang .
a. to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
b. to engage in promiscuous sex.
11. fuck off, Slang .
a. to shirk one's duty; malinger.
b. go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
c. to waste time.
12. fuck up, Slang .
a. to bungle or botch; ruin.
b. to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up. —Idiom
13. give a fuck, Slang . to care; be concerned.
Origin: 1495–1505; akin to MD fokken to thrust, copulate with, Sw dial. focka to copulate with, strike, push, fock penis —Related forms
fucky, adjective
Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.
World English Dictionary
fuck (fʌk)
— vb
1. to have sexual intercourse with (someone)
— n
2. an act of sexual intercourse
3. a partner in sexual intercourse, esp one of specified competence or experience
4. not care a fuck , not give a fuck not to care at all
— interj
5. offensive an expression of strong disgust or anger (often in exclamatory phrases such as fuck you! fuck it! etc)
usage
The use and overuse of fuck in the everyday speech of many people has led, to some extent, to a lessening of its impact as an expletive. However, the word still retains its shock value, although it is less now than it was when the critic Kenneth Tynan caused controversy by saying it on British television in 1965
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009
Word Origin & History fuck
a difficult word to trace, in part because it was taboo to the editors of the original OED when the "F" volume was compiled, 1893-97. Written form only attested from early 16c. OED 2nd edition cites 1503, in the form fukkit ; earliest appearance of current spelling is 1535 -- "Bischops ... may fuck thair fill and be vnmaryit" [Sir David Lyndesay, "Ane Satyre of the Thrie Estaits" ], but presumably it is a much more ancient word than that, simply one that wasn't likely to be written in the kind of texts that have survived from O.E. and M.E. Buck cites proper name John le Fucker from 1278. The word apparently is hinted at in a scurrilous 15c. poem, titled "Flen flyys," written in bastard L. and M.E. The relevant line reads:
Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uuiuys of heli "They [the monks] are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of Ely." Fuccant is pseudo-Latin, and in the original it is written in cipher. The earliest examples of the word otherwise are from Scottish, which suggests a Scandinavian origin, perhaps from a word akin to Norw. dial. fukka "copulate," or Swedish dial. focka "copulate, strike, push," and fock "penis." Another theory traces it to M.E. fkye, fike "move restlessly, fidget," which also meant "dally, flirt," and probably is from a general North Sea Gmc. word, cf. M.Du. fokken, Ger. ficken "fuck," earlier "make quick movements to and fro, flick," still earlier "itch, scratch;" the vulgar sense attested from 16c. This would parallel in sense the usual M.E. slang term for "have sexual intercourse," swive , from O.E. swifan "to move lightly over, sweep" (see swivel). Chronology and phonology rule out Shipley's attempt to derive it from M.E. firk "to press hard, beat." As a noun, it dates from 1680. French foutre and Italian fottere look like the English word but are unrelated, derived rather from L. futuere , which is perhaps from PIE base *bhau(t)- "knock, strike off," extended via a figurative use "from the sexual application of violent action" [Shipley; cf. the sexual slang use of bang , etc.]. Popular and Internet derivations from acronyms (and the "pluck yew" fable) are merely ingenious trifling. The O.E. word was hæman , from ham "dwelling, home," with a sense of "take home, co-habit." Fuck was outlawed in print in England (by the Obscene Publications Act, 1857) and the U.S. (by the Comstock Act, 1873). The word may have been shunned in print, but it continued in conversation, especially among soldiers during WWI.
"It became so common that an effective way for the soldier to express this emotion was to omit this word. Thus if a sergeant said, 'Get your ----ing rifles!' it was understood as a matter of routine. But if he said 'Get your rifles!' there was an immediate implication of urgency and danger." [John Brophy, "Songs and Slang of the British Soldier: 1914-1918," pub. 1930] The legal barriers broke down in the 20th century, with the "Ulysses" decision (U.S., 1933) and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (U.S., 1959; U.K., 1960). Johnson excluded the word, and fuck wasn't in a single English language dictionary from 1795 to 1965. "The Penguin Dictionary" broke the taboo in the latter year. Houghton Mifflin followed, in 1969, with "The American Heritage Dictionary," but it also published a "Clean Green" edition without the word, to assure itself access to the lucrative public high school market. The abbreviation F (or eff ) probably began as euphemistic, but by 1943 it was being used as a cuss word, too. In 1948, the publishers of "The Naked and the Dead" persuaded Norman Mailer to use the euphemism fug instead. When Mailer later was introduced to Dorothy Parker, she greeted him with, "So you're the man who can't spell 'fuck' " [The quip sometimes is attributed to Tallulah Bankhead]. Hemingway used muck in "For whom the Bell Tolls" (1940). The major breakthrough in publication was James Jones' "From Here to Eternity" (1950), with 50 fucks (down from 258 in the original manuscript). Egyptian legal agreements from the 23rd Dynasty (749-21 B.C.E.) frequently include the phrase, "If you do not obey this decree, may a donkey copulate with you!" [Reinhold Aman, "Maledicta," Summer 1977]. Fuck-all "nothing" first recorded 1960. Verbal phrase fuck up "to ruin, spoil, destroy" first attested c.1916. A widespread group of Slavic words (cf. Pol. pierdolić ) can mean both "fornicate" and "make a mistake." Fuck off attested from 1929; as a command to depart, by 1944. Flying fuck originally meant "have sex on horseback" and is first attested c.1800 in broadside ballad "New Feats of Horsemanship." For the unkillable urban legend that this word is an acronym of some sort (a fiction traceable on the Internet to 1995 but probably predating that) see here, and also here. Related: Fucked ; fucking . Agent noun fucker attested from 1590s in literal sense; by 1893 as a term of abuse (or admiration).
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Citation: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fuck
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