When I was a kid, I remember exactly what would have happened had I said "Jesus Christ" in front of any of my Catholic and/or uber-Christian relatives. I would have been flogged, stoned and summarily put to death. Seriously, I would have gotten the shit kicked out of me, and that would have been their departure point. Suffice it to say, I learned at an early age that there were things that one ought not to say out loud or in mixed company.
As the years have passed the English language has undergone a metamorphosis. Of course, language is alive and ever changing. Language is practically sentient and it definitely evolves. I get that. I'm with it. I remember when the common response to hearing something unbelievable was "as if." As if that were sufficient to express one's disbelief. Well, it was. We like our language to be concise, direct, and without confusion. Sort of.
When I consider the sorts of things we weren't allowed to say as children, I really believe that it was more about respecting your elders, and each other. It was about common courtesy and being kind and compassionate. We all were not those things, and none of us were those things all the time. And so, there were rules to govern our discipline when we stepped a toe out of line. The things we could not say weren't just offensive. My aunts actually believed that saying, "Jesus Christ" was blasphemy and would earn my skinny ass a one-way ticket to hell for all eternity. They weren't so fragile as to be unable to tolerate my words; they were concerned for my mortal soul. We laugh at that now. But back then, you were headed straight to hell if you had sex before marriage. Now, not so much. Did God change? Or did we change our perspective on incredibly subjective dogmatic ideals?
My time spent in the service was marked by the Tailhook incident. For the nubes in the room,.. Tailhook was the sexual harassment suit of the millennium. Basically, a woman (sailor) went to what she believed was a party to which she'd been invited. The party was not meant for any woman to attend; unless that woman hoped to be groped, fondled, stripped, and engage in debauched behavior with multiple horny pilots. Yes, there were 'hired' helpers. But, the woman wasn't really welcome and the invite was nothing more than a prank, intended to trap her in a compromised situation. She was groped, manhandled and practically raped (thought I'm not entirely sure that she was not). She reported the incident to her superior officer, which was the correct protocol to follow. Her commanding officer did nothing, except to tell her she ought not to have attended the party. Her story went to press, she sued their asses off, and the entire United States military got to stand down and attend a sexual harassment seminar. Sound like fun? It was not. In a coincidental twist, right before the stand down training, I was assaulted by my entire company. Want to know why? Because I was promoted. Hazing is real. But that's a different story for another time. What my point in adding this bit to this blog entry is this: we were not allowed to speak of many, many different things that might offend someone. While I don't condone hazing, assault, or any other unwanted physical attention; holy crap! Are we, in the effort to prevent bad behavior, going to prevent all behavior??? Seems like we threw out the baby with the bath water.
Fast forward to today. Not 'today' but I mean current time. My kids were in an assembly not too long ago, where they were asked to sign a contract promising to not say or use the word 'retarded.' Now, first, I think this is bullshit. You can't stick my kid in an assembly, interrupting the education curriculum, to talk about using a singular word. For real??? I think they'll learn a lot more by actually staying in class than wasting what little time they have in front of the teacher, hearing about how shameful and naughty it is to use the word 'retarded.' I think the assembly was retarded!!! For the record; I have never, never used the word in conjunction with a person who was physically or mentally handicapped. In fact, I never use any diagnostic words when I'm referring to a person who is challenged in any way. I refer to them by name, or based on their relation to another person (as in, Ted's kid, etc). But if something is stupid, or undeveloped, or delayed, I say it's retarded because that is what the word means.
Here, this is my proof:
re·tard
/rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]–verb (used with object)
1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object)
2. to be delayed.
–noun
3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging .
a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5. Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.
— adj
ESN mental handicap See also subnormal underdeveloped, esp mentally and esp having an IQ of 70 to 85
And there was another slang definition which was a modified definition (happens when words take on new meanings and uses) which was "bad or defective as in "this old DVD player is retarded. Time for a new one."
Citation http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retarded
So you see, my kid's school illegally pressured these kids, under duress (because they were asked to sign the paper collectively in front of the entire assembly) to illegally sign a document (no one under the age of 18 can legally enter into any contractual obligation with anyone else) that couldn't possibly serve any useful purpose except to persecute those who openly refused to sign (like my daughter). All for what??? To promise not to offend mentally or physically challenged people? Or are we so fragile, we don't like to be reminded of other's handicaps? Or are we so struggling with the Darwin theory that we hope everyone is gifted with all the same gifts and strengths and no one has any weaknesses? Or have we gotten so gluttonously lazy that we want everyone to have equal outcome without expending equal effort? All of this sounds like a pile of bullshit! One word. Focus all your attention on one word, and you're going to miss the meaning of the sentence. You're going to miss the heart of the book. Focus on one word, and what's the point of talking at all?
While we're on the topic of singular words that blow every one's skirts up... Let's talk about 'gay.' Now, I remember when people were just starting to use the word to mean 'homosexual.' I had no idea what they meant at first. But, as I grew, and learned about homosexuality and exactly what it was that two women did together, and what two men did together; I came to understand what 'gay' meant, from that perspective. Later in life, 'gay' took on a new meaning. But so did other words. For instance, when my then 16 year old sister came home with a bunch of new clothes (in 1985), she said that she "just bought a bunch of killer new clothes." Now, she did not mean that she bought clothes a 'killer' would wear; or that she planned on 'killing' anyone wearing the clothes. Of course she only meant that they were stylish and hip. DUH. But no one latched onto that little gem. Not sure why,.. I mean, the families of murder victims could certainly complain that such use of the term was inconsiderate and disrespectful to their loss. But so far, that hasn't happened.
And when I arrived in New England, I was treated to a new term: wicked. I will recant the tale of my then 13 year old relative as she told me about a dance she went to... "it was sooooo wicked!!" Now, I was certain that she meant the dance was thoroughly enjoyable, and perhaps even gleaned that she'd had a great time. Not once did I consider that the students at the dance might have been participating in black magic rituals, or satanic rites. Not even for a second did I consider that the evil host of hell had risen to attend a high school dance. I think many parents would have had their knickers in a twist if it had been "evil, or morally bad in principle or practice."
So, I return again to the word 'gay.' What is the fucking deal? Why am I accosted with stupid commercials about "watch what you say" and "do you think before you speak?" Yes, I do think before I speak. And, as a veteran of the United States, free citizen of this amazing country, I have the freedom to say whatever the flying freaking monkeys I want to say. I volunteered to fight for my country and defend all our rights. I threw live hand grenades for crying out loud. I sneezed snot and phlegm from my nose, and mouth, with tears streaming from my eyes in the gas chamber. Damn it, don't I get to say whatever I want to say? Especially when all I'm really saying is that something, or someone is acting in an unintelligent manner? And what of the gay community? Are they really offended by this practice? I mean, to be gay does not mean one is inherently stupid or unnecessary. Being gay just means you're either happy, gleeful, or you like to have sex with people who have the same sex organs as you do. But, when I say, "Oh my God. That is gay!" I am not saying that the gay community has any relevance to what I am dealing with. Not related. Not linked. No offense was meant. None should have been taken. Of my gay friends, and there are MANY,.. they are all tough, intelligent, sarcastic, really well-spoken and outspoken people. They don't linger about, lamenting the misuse of the term. Neither should anyone else. And the fact that tax dollars were spent to make dumb-ass commercials vilifying the use of a stupid singular word is appalling.
My very favorite word is 'fuck.' Why? Because, it is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, everything. It is a complete sentence, all by itself. And it is a multi-tasker. People get offended by the f-bomb. Can't really say why either. Like Whoppi Goldberg says, "fuck isn't nearly as offensive as some words: stupid, worthless, dumb." I agree with her. I don't agree with her politics, but I don't have to. The basic sentiment is this: words shouldn't offend you. Actions should. Just because I say 'fuck' shouldn't offend you, though if you choose to get offended, that is your right. However, your rights end where they abut everyone else's rights.
That is really the crux of it: YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE THEY ABUT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS!!!! With all the money spent on therapy and counselling services, and all the effort applied to self-help crap; how can we all be so fucking (yes, I dropped it) pretentious and uptight about WORDS!!!!! I get it,.. words hurt. People can cut you straight through your soul with the words they say, and they might even do it on purpose. Jesus H. Christ Almighty!!! Are you kidding me??? "That which does not destroy me, only makes me stronger!!!" Start out by surviving WORDS!!!
If you are broken down by some asshat who assaults you with words; reach out to others. Get support. Sure, there are people who use words like weapons, they strike you down, and know that you have nothing. There are also people who have been there, done that, and are ready to support you. Reach out and get supported, get help, and get the hell away from people who use their words to hurt you. But, for crying out loud (or bitching in a blog), don't try to limit freedom of speech! Don't tell me what I can or cant' say because some other person used words to wound. And if I wound you, use YOUR words to express that fact and let me use MY words to make amends. We shouldn't be stopping speech, or limiting it; we need to speak more clearly and stop all this exaggeration and lying.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH,.. I say "use it or lose it" my friends. Any sort of censure is just retarded and gay.
And, for those of you who might be interested in the history of the word 'fuck,' here you go!!!
fuck
–verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.
2. Slang . to treat unfairly or harshly.
–verb (used without object)
3. to have sexual intercourse.
4. Slang . to meddle (usually fol. by around or with ).
–interjection
5. Slang . (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc., often fol. by a pronoun, as you or it. )
–noun
6. an act of sexual intercourse.
7. a partner in sexual intercourse.
8. Slang . a person, esp. one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the fuck, Slang . (used as an intensifier, esp. with WH-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.) —Verb phrases
10. fuck around, Slang .
a. to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
b. to engage in promiscuous sex.
11. fuck off, Slang .
a. to shirk one's duty; malinger.
b. go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
c. to waste time.
12. fuck up, Slang .
a. to bungle or botch; ruin.
b. to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up. —Idiom
13. give a fuck, Slang . to care; be concerned.
Origin: 1495–1505; akin to MD fokken to thrust, copulate with, Sw dial. focka to copulate with, strike, push, fock penis —Related forms
fucky, adjective
Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.
World English Dictionary
fuck (fʌk)
— vb
1. to have sexual intercourse with (someone)
— n
2. an act of sexual intercourse
3. a partner in sexual intercourse, esp one of specified competence or experience
4. not care a fuck , not give a fuck not to care at all
— interj
5. offensive an expression of strong disgust or anger (often in exclamatory phrases such as fuck you! fuck it! etc)
usage
The use and overuse of fuck in the everyday speech of many people has led, to some extent, to a lessening of its impact as an expletive. However, the word still retains its shock value, although it is less now than it was when the critic Kenneth Tynan caused controversy by saying it on British television in 1965
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009
Word Origin & History fuck
a difficult word to trace, in part because it was taboo to the editors of the original OED when the "F" volume was compiled, 1893-97. Written form only attested from early 16c. OED 2nd edition cites 1503, in the form fukkit ; earliest appearance of current spelling is 1535 -- "Bischops ... may fuck thair fill and be vnmaryit" [Sir David Lyndesay, "Ane Satyre of the Thrie Estaits" ], but presumably it is a much more ancient word than that, simply one that wasn't likely to be written in the kind of texts that have survived from O.E. and M.E. Buck cites proper name John le Fucker from 1278. The word apparently is hinted at in a scurrilous 15c. poem, titled "Flen flyys," written in bastard L. and M.E. The relevant line reads:
Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uuiuys of heli "They [the monks] are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of Ely." Fuccant is pseudo-Latin, and in the original it is written in cipher. The earliest examples of the word otherwise are from Scottish, which suggests a Scandinavian origin, perhaps from a word akin to Norw. dial. fukka "copulate," or Swedish dial. focka "copulate, strike, push," and fock "penis." Another theory traces it to M.E. fkye, fike "move restlessly, fidget," which also meant "dally, flirt," and probably is from a general North Sea Gmc. word, cf. M.Du. fokken, Ger. ficken "fuck," earlier "make quick movements to and fro, flick," still earlier "itch, scratch;" the vulgar sense attested from 16c. This would parallel in sense the usual M.E. slang term for "have sexual intercourse," swive , from O.E. swifan "to move lightly over, sweep" (see swivel). Chronology and phonology rule out Shipley's attempt to derive it from M.E. firk "to press hard, beat." As a noun, it dates from 1680. French foutre and Italian fottere look like the English word but are unrelated, derived rather from L. futuere , which is perhaps from PIE base *bhau(t)- "knock, strike off," extended via a figurative use "from the sexual application of violent action" [Shipley; cf. the sexual slang use of bang , etc.]. Popular and Internet derivations from acronyms (and the "pluck yew" fable) are merely ingenious trifling. The O.E. word was hæman , from ham "dwelling, home," with a sense of "take home, co-habit." Fuck was outlawed in print in England (by the Obscene Publications Act, 1857) and the U.S. (by the Comstock Act, 1873). The word may have been shunned in print, but it continued in conversation, especially among soldiers during WWI.
"It became so common that an effective way for the soldier to express this emotion was to omit this word. Thus if a sergeant said, 'Get your ----ing rifles!' it was understood as a matter of routine. But if he said 'Get your rifles!' there was an immediate implication of urgency and danger." [John Brophy, "Songs and Slang of the British Soldier: 1914-1918," pub. 1930] The legal barriers broke down in the 20th century, with the "Ulysses" decision (U.S., 1933) and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (U.S., 1959; U.K., 1960). Johnson excluded the word, and fuck wasn't in a single English language dictionary from 1795 to 1965. "The Penguin Dictionary" broke the taboo in the latter year. Houghton Mifflin followed, in 1969, with "The American Heritage Dictionary," but it also published a "Clean Green" edition without the word, to assure itself access to the lucrative public high school market. The abbreviation F (or eff ) probably began as euphemistic, but by 1943 it was being used as a cuss word, too. In 1948, the publishers of "The Naked and the Dead" persuaded Norman Mailer to use the euphemism fug instead. When Mailer later was introduced to Dorothy Parker, she greeted him with, "So you're the man who can't spell 'fuck' " [The quip sometimes is attributed to Tallulah Bankhead]. Hemingway used muck in "For whom the Bell Tolls" (1940). The major breakthrough in publication was James Jones' "From Here to Eternity" (1950), with 50 fucks (down from 258 in the original manuscript). Egyptian legal agreements from the 23rd Dynasty (749-21 B.C.E.) frequently include the phrase, "If you do not obey this decree, may a donkey copulate with you!" [Reinhold Aman, "Maledicta," Summer 1977]. Fuck-all "nothing" first recorded 1960. Verbal phrase fuck up "to ruin, spoil, destroy" first attested c.1916. A widespread group of Slavic words (cf. Pol. pierdolić ) can mean both "fornicate" and "make a mistake." Fuck off attested from 1929; as a command to depart, by 1944. Flying fuck originally meant "have sex on horseback" and is first attested c.1800 in broadside ballad "New Feats of Horsemanship." For the unkillable urban legend that this word is an acronym of some sort (a fiction traceable on the Internet to 1995 but probably predating that) see here, and also here. Related: Fucked ; fucking . Agent noun fucker attested from 1590s in literal sense; by 1893 as a term of abuse (or admiration).
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Citation: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fuck
No comments:
Post a Comment