Experience Project 04

Chasing The White Rabbit
10 June 2010
I was talking to a friend of mine about having just bought the new Alice in Wonderland. He said that the phrase "chasing the white rabbit" was a drug reference. Apparently I've grown up completely oblivious.

I don't want to admit that I am naive. But, sometimes if the Mad Hatter's hat fits,.. you gotta wear it. Between the drug references in AIW, and the mystery around The Wizard Of Oz, I can't believe I grew up with these movies and never picked up on it. Sadly it doesn't end there.

In high school, we went of an extended trip where we were gone for a week, and stayed in hotel rooms. I ACTUALLY thought that everyone on the trip was sleeping at night, and in their own room, and alone. And I never would have thought that any drinking or drugs were happening. But, years ago, at the ten year reunion (wait,..make that twelve years ago, at my ten year reunion) a bunch of the kids I hung out with were all sharing this incredible tale. They were reminiscing about the drugs and how drunk so-and-so was, and who slept with who, and the wild kinky things they were doing. After a few long minutes listening, I asked, "wow, when did all of THAT happen?" They all started laughing. Great. Turns out, their wild kinky adventure occurred at the same time as my relatively benign and boring school field trip. Apparently, I sleep rather soundly.

Even in college, I was just not socially aware. My first roommate (who I later couldn't stand) and this guy hooked up the very first night at a freshman mixer hosted by the college. Woo-Hoo. It was supposed to be "dry week" with no booze on campus. But this guy was legal and bought some beer. Yee-Haw. We sat in our dorm room,.. and I had no clue there was some sort of etiquette surrounding roommates, and who gets to sleep in the room when someone has a "friend" over. So, I sat at my desk, with the lamp on, and just read through my textbooks (I know,...NERD). I ignored them, and was listening to a sony walkman (remember those!!!). After a while, they realized I didn't get it, but recognized I couldn't hear them. So they started having sex,.. and had someone had the good grace to just tell me, I'd have gone to the dorm library for the evening. But no,.. I stood to go to the bathroom, and managed to catch a glimpse of him riding her like Sea Biscuit. I ran into the bathroom, and straight into the adjoining room, past another couple going at it, and out their door.

Horrified, I stayed in the library all night, freezing my ass off and bawling my eyes out. While I'm a bit ashamed to admit that, at least it's honest. I had spent my years in high school just trying to support myself. I hadn't been able to learn the social interaction kind of stuff that everyone else learns. I was working a few jobs and lived alone in the smallest studio apartment you ever saw. I could stand in the center of the living room/bedroom, and in two steps, reach the kitchenette, the dining table and the bathroom door. So, sue me if I didn't have a clue.

The next morning, my roommate accosted me in the dining hall. She walked right up to me, no shame or discretion at all, and in front of the entire dining hall filled to capacity,.. she said, "next time I have a date over, if you don't leave, I'm going to throw you out." The girls in the adjoining room seemed to agree. And within a few months, the Dean gave me my own bedroom, on the top floor of the dorm, and I had no suite-mates or room mates. Had the room to my self for the rest of my time there.

Another funny event happened at college because of my naivete... going to a Dead concert. No one told me that I might get high, just from breathing the air... My good friend was shocked that I'd never heard of the Dead,.. so he bought me a ticket, along with a whole bunch of people. We took a van up there to the concert. At some point, someone handed me the keys to the van because I was "white." I thought they meant my nationality (which is only half true), but they meant that I was pure... yikes. In college, that's the same as calling someone "boring" "dull" and "unattractive." So, I watched the concert, and most of the folks with us drifted away. I remember seeing some of them eating little bits of paper which I thought was weird (duh). And the friend that brought me promised he wouldn't leave my side,... About ten minutes in, his old lover and he connected and he left. So, after about an hour of the concert, I started feeling confused, dazed, dizzy and silly. I went over to a man who was standing at a booth, and I said, "I don't feel so well, somethings wrong." He handed me a sandwich. So I ate it,.. not bright,.. do not eat food a stranger hands you. HHEEEYYY! Kinda like Alice!!!

Anyway, so eventually, I staggered out to the van, surprised I found it, and the doors were locked. I forgot I had the keys, which was just as well, cause some of my friends were using the space... *wink wink* So I sat on the ground, by the driver's side door still confused. After a long time, everyone got back, and I opened the van and we all piled in. To say that my driving was erratic would be an understatement. Eventually, my friend (with his lover beside him) told me to pull over. So I did. He drove us back toward campus.

Around this time, I started complaining that I was really hungry. The sandwich wasn't cutting it. I was HUNGRY. So my friend (Paul, to make this easier) stopped at Denny's. While everyone ordered food, I actually devoured mine and some of each of theirs. I was hungry. But then, I threw up. So Paul got worried (he was fatherly of me, cause I was so naive) and decided to take me to the university clinic. I was scared they were trying to kidnap me and made a huge scene leaving Denny's. And I felt weird.

We got to the clinic, and they brought me in. The doctor asked me a few questions, but then just said, "what drugs did you do tonight?" He wouldn't listen to me,.. I didn't do drugs. I started vomiting violently again. And, I broke out in hives. Seriously, hives, everywhere. Paul tried to convince the dude that I hadn't done any drugs. But they ran blood tests and confirmed that I had marijuana in my system. The levels were really low, though, too low for the length of time that had passed. So eventually the very young and not bright doc realized that it was a contact high, from being completely surrounded by the smoke from others smoking dope. I wasn't allergic to the dope,.. but at Denny's, they had a kind of crab cake thing that they served (which I'm surprised was not Krab cake,..) and the chef cross contaminated my food with one of my friend's food--the crab, which I'm allergic to.

I've never tried drugs because of that event. But I do remember the silliness and the confusion,.. and the hunger. I've always believed that we should legalize marijuana, and put huge imbargos and taxes on stuff coming into the country, and bolster farmers who grow home-grown weed legally. We can tax the crap out it, like we already do with tobacco and alcohol. And I bet we wouldn't have a deficit, could provide healthcare for the country, and would pull our service members home, because we need them here. THAT is what I call, chasing the white rabbit... creatively solving a problem, while knocking out four other problems at the same time!