I'm An Asshat
7 July 2010
Ok, so sometimes my anger backfires. Sometimes, the reason I stand alone is because I've pushed everyone away. It's amazing to me that several months later, I have ANYONE in my circle at all. Of course, NOW, because of my rapid fire mouth and stunning reparte, my circle just got smaller. All I can say is this: if you think I'm ever going to be perfect, you're sadly looking to the wrong chicadee. I am NOT perfect and am never going to be perfect. Sometimes, I shoot of my mouth in the worst possible way. I am sorry to my dear friend that I verbally assaulted out of anger and misunderstanding. And yet, if you don't want to be in my circle, I get it. I'm a bit much to deal with, temper and such aside. However, we all come here as less than perfect people and I try to be understanding and accepting. Just hope that you can do the same.
One thing I have always been proud of, about myself, is my ability to recognize that I've been wrong and to apologize. I do make mistakes and try to be open about it, try to account for my bad behavior and correct it. Still, sometimes you can't wallow any more in your own mistakes, you have to move on, grow and move on. And, the people that you've hurt, well, they need to move on as well. People have hurt me before and it sucks. But I too had to forgive them and move on--even if only for myself to move on.
And in the midst of all the chaos, having pissed off a friend, and feeling like I can't get anything right, I have to be thankful for at least one thing: I didn't break anything this time!
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