Gouging My F_CKING Eyeballs Out
5 July 2010
Have you ever looked at something, and wished to God that you hadn't??? Have you ever been curious, only to be rewarded in the worst possible way??? You know what, folks??? The saying is true,... where there's smoke, THERE'S A FUCKING FIRE!!!!!
Don't poke the sleeping dragons. I'm not talking about the ones out there,.... no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the sleeping dragons that live inside your mind. I've got a few of them. And, tonight, whilst bored to tears at work, I poked one of them. I poked the green dragon. And the green dragon woke up, rose into the air, and breathed fire all over my scorched heart. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sorry to those of you who are sensitive to cursing,... probably, you shouldn't read MY blog. I can use the F-Bomb as a verb,noun, adverb, adjective, and a complete sentence. It's probably my favorite word. Right now,... I will use it as the expletive that it is: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK! *screamed out loud, at the top of my lungs, over a cliff with an oceanic view at midnight to a flock of fucking seagulls*
Sometimes, I get on here at EP and I think, "wow, wonder what my friends are all doing?" I poke around and check it all out, read stories, comment here or there. Sometimes I wander to the Q&A, answer a few Q's. I don't generally stalk anyone, but, sometimes, I do. If you all loved me, you'd tell me to stop it. I mean, seriously!!! Maybe I SHOULD delete this account and just walk away. Cause then I wouldn't be tempted to check on people, and see everyone having a bare assed naked sexy time. I wouldn't read whistfully wishing I was invited to the party. I wouldn't feel like the second runner up to Kagan, who doesn't even look like a woman!!! Fuck me! Holy Crap Batman.
It's this God-damned "fuck-off" vibe I radiate. Sure, I make friends, but, beyond that??? Hell no. Someone close to me asked me a few days ago, if I got hit on all the time at bars. Well, no. I have never been one to get hit on. And, probably never will be. I AM that girl at the bar, making fun of you. I'm that girl at the bar wearing tight jeans and ass-kicking-military boots. I'm that girl at the bar making snide comments at the frilly, gussied up, make-up clones who are WAAAAAYYYY over-dancing and trying to be sexy in clothing that doesn't fit. Ok, I get it,.. apparently, I'm a bitch. Wish I wasn't, but clearly that's the case.
What am I supposed to do here? Start gesturing sexy remarks to the folks in my circle? Start sending sexy gifts around, listing myself as "private"..... (oooooo, wonder what the roses mean!!!???). My single friends ask me all the time to hit a bar with them. I always say no. For one thing, I need to be with my kids. For another thing, what's the point, really? I was gone for a bit, recently and had decided to stay here on EP cause I love the site. Still do. Just, wow,... holy rusted metal through my heart, Batman. This moment brought to you by pre-fortieth birthday panic attack and green dragon sightings. Angryface has left the building.
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