Never Ask What Can Happen Next, Cause You Won't Believe What Can

Everytime my life makes sense, starts to move in a new direction, some new bullshit pops up to remind me that I am not in control of my pathetic life. Just when I know who I am and where I'm headed, the rug gets ripped out from beneath my feet. I'm never on solid ground. Never

My main issue: I trust people. I believe in them. I am the world's best corner man. Who is my corner man?? No one. I stand here all by my fucking self. Alone, since my biological mother fucked off with the most recent guy she was fucking,,... I am alone.

Here I sit, all broken hearted.... yeah, fuck that.

Here I sit wondering where the characteristics like honor, faith, and dedication have gone. Oh yeah, and that awesome thing that seems to be missing: character. Fuck you if you can't handle the truth. You know??? Holy crap. We all have shit to get through. What's the point of making other people's shit worse? Do you really feel better about your own pile of crap? If you do, then you're more fucked than I am, and that is saying something.

Here's where the rug gets pulled out: people are people, and I just keep trusting and expecting that people are going to live up to what they say they're gonna live up to. When they fail, they think they've failed me. But, they haven't failed me. Sure, I think it sucks. I depend on people, sometimes, rarely, and I need them to come through on their end. When they don't, its up to me to make the ends meet. And, I usually do. Really, they fail themselves. And they can be pissed all they want to, even pissed at me. But, if you let me down, was it because I expected too much of you,... or because you knew you weren't up to snuff?

Bullsheedo. That's what I see. A whole lot of flubbing resumes, and a whole lot of "faking it" from folks who hope they'll eventually "make it." It doesn't matter where you start, only that you have a direction. It doesn't matter what obstacles stand in your way, only that you strive to overcome them. And, it doesn't matter who works against you, so long as you aren't doing the same to others. Be a positive entity in the world, that's it. Be a positive entity. And for God's sakes, stop telling me that I'm your everything, when I'm not ANYTHING you want or need.